no but honestly is there even a video game character out there whose life is worse than fucking Raiden’s from MGS???

I mean let’s think about this

  • his parents were killed and he was adopted by their murderer when he was very little. the same guy forced him to become a callous child soldier/killing machine. he fed him gun powder for christ’s sake
  • when the Patriots took him away, they implanted nanomachines in his body like some guinea pig. with it, they could also alter his memories, that’s fucked up
  • he had constant nightmares about his childhood and shut everyone else out. even his girlfriend (who turns out to be a patriot’s spy later on, hahaaa)
  • his blood was replaced by artificial blood
  • they send him on a mission with only VR training whatevs
  • everyone constantly makes fun of him and his appearance (in-game and fanbase). he gets mistaken for a girl and groped by President Johnson (he never apologized)
  • Snake uses him for a diversion resulting in Raiden being captured and stripped off his clothes. when he gets free, he has to sneak past guards naked in a freezing building
  • everyone just fucking lies to him/keeps him in the dark about fucking everything
  • also the mission was the Patriots’ idea bc they like to fuck with him lol
  • Raiden of course didn’t know because as I said, no one ever tells him stuff and when he gets angry about it everyone’s just like haha relax dude
  • he’s been connected to Olga’s daughter meaning when he dies and as soon as the news spread (which they will bc haha brain control), Sunny’s fucking dead, too
  • everyone instantly judges him no matter what he does like let the guy stand in a women’s bathroom or look at posters jfc
  • did I already mention that he’s the Patriots’ HDD or smth? he’s not a person anymore bc who cares
  • after Big Shell he got together with fucking Rose again but was caught up by his past and started drinking and got into bar fights and uh oh Rose told him that she lost their unborn child so cool
  • she got married to Campbell afterwards so he was like fuck this shit I’m going to Alaska or smth until I become even more withdrawn hell yEAH
  • when he got caught by the Patriots again they fucking cut off his head+spine from the rest of the body. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT
  • BEFORE WE VENTURE INTO MGS4 HOW BOUT WE LOOK AT MGS3 WHERE THEY PUT A CHARACTER SOLELY TO MOCK RAIDEN. Raikov is Volgin’s little sex puppet or smth and he has Raiden’s face. man, Naked Snake, of course you get groped when you’re wearing a mask that resembles Raiden did you not play MGS2. Raikov also wears black thong bc he’s cool like that (yes you have to undress him)
  • he’s featured in those little fun things called secret theater. basically a video where he travels back in time and gets electro-raped by Volgin (idk why he has electro-powers he just does fuck you) Raiden, ur luck sucks
  • NOW BACK TO MGS4
  • so he comes to help out Snake and his MGS2 buddy Vamp shows up yet again (Raiden killed him like 2 times or smth) and he’s being totally creepy towards Raiden, like he stabs him and licks the artificial blood off the blade seductively (Vamp’s a vamp…ire but not really)
  • SIDE NOTE: Raiden’s blood isn’t crimson bc the makers thought it’d be funnier if there’s a pearly white liquid dripping down his chin when he gets injured. haha hahahaaha Vamp likes the taste of Raiden’s pearly white liquid
  • SIDE NOTE: Raiden is like one of the few characters who are more or less confirmed to be heterosexual, honestly, everyone’s fucking gayer than him why do they put him in these situations
  • he stabs himself in order to hurt Vamp and Vamp kinda begins humping him (no really go watch the cutscene) come on guys there’s a sword between you (really is)
  • Raiden’s in mortal danger bc he lost too much artificial blood but he don’t give a crap
  • when he awakens from his coma he literally clutches Snake’s leg and lies on the floor begging Snake to take him with him to his mission because he has nothing left to live for and he wants at least help Snake because he’s his fucking idol and he at least wants to be of use to him but Snake’s just no don’t be a pussy (no offense ilu even though I make fun of you like everyone else but when you’re not looking I get mad at ppl for hurting you but shhh I’m Snake and won’T admit shit) so Raiden gets left behind (but Sunny takes care of him bc Sunny is a cute lil pumpkin and he saved her life and she’s not afraid of his cyborg body she can lift that shit up)
  • btw Vamp’s still not dead and proceeds to act creepily towards him and lick his blood and stuff until Raiden’s fed up with his shenanigans and cuts this motherfucker
  • when Snake is losing against Liquid Ocelot’s ship (looked like a giant OTP I tell ya) Raiden jumps in to save him by cutting off his own arm (he’s been burried under boulders) but he’s not smart so instead of snatching Snake away from the ship threatening to crush him, he decides to hold back the whole ship instead. it’s no surprise he got overwhelmed even though he managed to save Snake. his last memories are Rose’s voice, I cried my eyes out
  • BUT WAIT
  • he’s still alive! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DECEIVE ME LIKE THAT. anyways, by now he’s completely armless but still decides to come to Snake’s rescue massacring his enemies. Snake still doesn’t let him be part of his clique tho, leaving him in the hallway
  • after the events of MGS4 he gets a more human looking cyborg body and Rose shows up and tells him that her marriage was just a safety measure for her and their kid bc YEAH THE MISCARRIAGE WAS FAKE TOO
  • THEY CAN BE A HAPPY FAMILY NOW, RAIDEN CAN BE HAPPY AGAIN
  • LOL NOPE METAL GEAR RISING REVENGEANCE IS COMING SOON AND HE GETS HIS ARM RIPPED OFF OR SOMETHING AND BY NOW HE’S REALLY PISSED AND HE JUST SLASHES EVERYTHING BC HE’S TIRED OF EVERYONE’S SHIT
  • thank

Shared Feb 01 with 119 notes
  1. doyouwanttoeatme reblogged this from acidverdict
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  7. phonebookpillow reblogged this from emptytuxedo and added:
    WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ON RAIDEN? There are about 20+ bullet points showing how much he doesn’t deserve to be treated...
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  14. hamburgerofeden reblogged this from draaagon and added:
    Not only does Snake tell Raiden to not be a pussy, he’s like LOOK AT MY BURN SCARS AND RAPIDLY AGING SKIN GET OVER...
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  19. sparkedsynapse reblogged this from acidverdict and added:
    Yeah, this is pretty much Raiden’s life.
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